| Saturday, May 3 |
THE MISSION: To collect 100 signatures on the nomination petition. (a requirement for official candidacy in the election)
 The meeting point for this kick off event was to be the Planetarium Crab at 11:00. The King was there.... alone... bored... until the party faithful began to arrive at 11:05. Shortly thereafter the entourage was complete; The Colonel, Charley, two security personnel (you never know what kinds of nutcases are out there), the omnipresent paparazzi, and one hippie looking fellow.
 While the crowd gathered, a number of tour busses drove by to wave to The King. He, being the humble and down to earth sort that he is, waved back. Remember that he didn't have to, they weren't even voters. What a guy!
 The weather smiled upon The King this day in spite of the predictions of rain. Perhaps this signals an endorsement? Just perhaps. At 11:30 The party set forth in quest of those all important signatures, they travelled along Fourth, then up to Broadway, along to MacDonald, back to Cornwall, and returned via Kits Beach to Vanier Park.  The trek was 5 hours, and it was fruitful. At the end of the quest, our heroes had collected 90 valid signatures from citizens of the riding. Along the way, the King listened to the concerns of many of the people. Concerns such as; "Where did you get that suit?" and "Aren't you cold with your chest open like that?" He would respond by singing, "Treat me like a fool, treat me mean and cruel, but elect me."
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| Sunday, May 4 |
THE MISSION: To collect 20 more nomination signatures.
This day the forces of nature brought Vancouver the gift of nurturing, cleansing rain. And gusty cold wind. As with Saturday, the plan was to leave from the Crab at 11:00. As with Saturday, 11:00 came and passed with only our fearless leader to be seen there... Bored.. Alone... Waving back to the tour busses, and shivering. 20 minutes later, the entourage began to arrive, this time it was only security, The Colonel, and a lovely young lady who would join The King on his quest for the last 20 signatures.
I mentioned above that it was raining. Allow me to use this opportunity to give all a little wisdom. CAMPAIGNING IN THE RAIN IS NOT PLEASANT, ONLY DO SO IF YOU ARE NOT OF SOUND MENTAL HEALTH. Or, if you need signatures for a nomination petition. Two hours were spent dodging from shelter to shelter through the park at Kits beach, greeting the huddled dog walkers, waving to the masochistic joggers and gazing in disbelief the shivering lycra clad cyclists. All the while collecting the signatures that made this torture worthwhile. When the nomination form was complete, the soggy, shivering, sniffling band of heroes left for the day vowing never to go out in the rain like that again. Not even the rule of a great and prosperous country is worth that experience. |
| Sunday, May 11 |
THE MISSION: To bring the Elvis to the downtown core.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like first to talk about a pattern that can be found in human behaviour which is to agree on a meeting place and time with an almost zero probability of being there. Case in point: Meeting at 11:00 at the Planetarium crab. On Sunday, Elvis was there at 11:00; in the lovely hot sunshine, in dark blue polyester, in a cape, in virtual solitude until around noon. The laborious hour (sweating is hard work) was interrupted once by a young fellow on a field trip from Victoria who asked our soon to be Emperor, "Did you loose a bet or something?". Elvis gave him a badge anyway.
Shortly after noon the entourage departed to cross the Burrard St. Bridge into the city. They waved to cars, the cars honked and waved back. It was obvious that if only cars could vote, The King would have a landslide victory. Perhaps he will legislate the inclusion of automobiles to the elections act once he's in power. Midway across, a kindly photographer for the West Ender newspaper met with the entourage and wound up spending most of the afternoon with them.
The people of Davie St. are used to seeing a lot of strange things. For instance, it is common to find 6'+ ladies with small busts, small hips and large adam's apples on nearly every block. Only in the military will you see such a high concentration of people with short hair and moustaches as on Davie. If there is such a thing as the ultimate circus of eccentricity, it can be found in the simple produce shops of Davie. Quite frankly, the King passed though this distict in his Las Vegas finery and a singing, sign waving mob practically unnoticed.
At Denman, the party turned to the beach at English Bay. Finally the people began to notice that there was something unusual in their midst. Along the beach on the way back to the bridge Elvis spoke to the people, shook hands with the people, traded lines of song with the people, gave buttons to the people and most of all envied the people because it was 30 degrees celcius and they were all wearing swimwear.
Near 3:00 they were back at the bridge and were just embarking on the return crossing when a man in a white van hailed them identifying himself as a reporter with U-TV (a popular Vancouver television station) They returned to the north end of the bridge where The King granted an interview and explaned in undisputable terms why it was right for the people to elect him. The video clip is available in AVI format (4.5Mb). The reporter was infact a very nice fellow who was kind enough to shoot and edit the story in such a way as to make the entourage which was by this time only 4 people look like a fervent mob. |
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